Thoughts from Mother’s Day 2024
It all begins with an idea.
We are often busy mothering off in the shadows, not center stage or smack dab in the middle of the photo or the scene. Mothers are generally found on the outskirts, just out of focus, doing all of the magical things that mothers do. Almost without being seen, we wipe all the handles and surfaces and sticky hands. We kiss boo boos and catch scary spiders. We wash all the clothes and body parts and appliances. We make all the food appear and we feed it to all the people, over and over with no end in sight.
We quell all the fights and pick all the battles over TV or screen time, homework or broken hearts. We read bedtime stories and cuddle and nurse babies for thousands of hours. We wait up and lose sleep even when they are grown.
A mothers work is never done, since children don’t really leave town for vacations and they are not light switches. It’s the job we can’t turn off. I never knew growing up how much mothers live their lives in the shadows of their children’s light. I never really saw my mother. It took me so many years to see her and by the time I really did, she was almost gone.
Mamas cradle you, wishing you’d stay little and just as fiercely wish we could have just five minutes of peace and quiet. This job takes our hearts and souls and bodies, without offering payment or credentials that could be used in any tangible way. Motherhood will rip you in half right before your first day.
It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do and it won’t be over until you die. It’s also the most beautiful of gifts, this everyday miracle that allows us to make people from scratch inside our bodies. Mama hearts are forever. No matter what.
Ninee years of Mothers Days without my mother and most of all I hope she knows that I see her now. I hope she knows how sorry I am for all the years I didn’t.